A Childhood Memory: The Pain of Girl Foeticide

 A Childhood Memory: The Pain of Girl Foeticide

As I watched my mother-in-law discussing the issue of girl foeticide, a childhood memory resurfaced, one that still stings. It was during my early years, when my maternal grandparents and aunts lived in Adhchini, New Delhi, near NCERT. Our next-door neighbours were a Punjabi family who had rented their first floor to a South Indian family.

Both families had only girls. One of my favourite sisters, Vinni didi, was from the landlords family. She was a beautiful and kind soul, and my younger sister would often visit their home, asking, "Didi, apka TV chal laha hai kya?" (Didi, is your TV on?). Their bond was truly special.

But a dark cloud hung over their home. The male member of the South Indian family would often beat his wife, using harsh language that, as children, we couldn't understand. The elder members of our family explained that he was unhappy with having only girls and blamed his wife for it.

This memory is a stark reminder of the deep-rooted discrimination against girls that continues to plague our society. The idea that a child's gender determines their worth is not only harmful but also morally reprehensible. Girl feticide is a crime against humanity, a practice that perpetuates gender inequality and robs countless girls of their right to life.

It's time to break free from these harmful stereotypes and embrace the value of every human life, regardless of gender. Let's work towards a future where girls are celebrated, protected, and given the same opportunities as boys.

Hypocrisy: A Hidden Epidemic

 Hypocrisy: A Hidden Epidemic

Hypocrisy, the act of pretending to have beliefs or feelings that one does not actually have, is a pervasive issue in our society. It's a phenomenon that often goes unnoticed, yet it can have profound consequences.

Hypocrites in Our Midst

Hypocrites can be found in all walks of life, from politicians to celebrities to our everyday acquaintances. They may preach one thing while practicing another, often without realizing the irony of their behavior. Sometimes, we may even find ourselves exhibiting hypocritical tendencies, without even being aware of it.

The Nature of Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy often manifests in the way we treat others. We may be kind and compassionate towards some people while being judgmental and critical of others. Our behaviour can vary depending on the situation, the person we're interacting with, or our own personal biases.

The Intentional Hypocrite

While some people may be unintentionally hypocritical, others may intentionally engage in such behavior. Their motives can vary, from personal gain to a desire to maintain a certain image. Regardless of their intentions, their hypocrisy can have a negative impact on those around them.

The Societal Impact of Hypocrisy

The extent to which hypocrisy affects society depends on the individuals involved and the nature of their actions. When public figures or influential individuals engage in hypocritical behavior, it can erode trust and undermine the foundations of society.

Conclusion

Hypocrisy is a complex issue with far-reaching consequences. By recognising the prevalence of hypocrisy in our society and understanding its causes, we can work to address this problem and create a more honest and authentic world. While it may be difficult to eliminate hypocrisy entirely, we can strive to be more mindful of our own behaviour and hold others accountable for their actions.

A Question of Leadership: Patience, Respect, and Team Spirit

A Recent Incident Sparks Debate

Today, a particularly thought-provoking incident occurred during our morning prayer. A student eloquently suggested that we should be mindful of our words, knowing when to speak and when to remain silent. This timely reminder was followed by an administrative speech that, while initially inspiring, took a turn that raised eyebrows.

The administrator began by commending the students on their excellent skit performance. However, the tone shifted as they proceeded to make a series of statements that seemed to border on harsh and dismissive. One particular comment, suggesting that employees should quit if they're unhappy, caused a stir among the audience.

Leadership and Respect: A Delicate Balance

This incident raises several important questions about leadership and respect. Can an authority figure address subordinates in such a manner? Is it acceptable for a leader to dictate terms that may seem unfair or insensitive? And does this approach foster a positive and collaborative work environment?

A true leader is not just someone who sets goals and expects results. They are also individuals who inspire, motivate, and support their team. A leader who consistently resorts to threats or ultimatums may be able to achieve short-term goals, but they risk alienating their team members and damaging long-term morale.

The Importance of Team Spirit and Empathy

Effective leadership requires a delicate balance between firmness and compassion. While it's important to hold people accountable, it's equally important to treat them with respect and empathy. A leader who understands the challenges faced by their team members and is willing to listen to their concerns is more likely to build a strong and cohesive team.

The incident today serves as a reminder that even the most well-intentioned individuals can make mistakes. It's essential to learn from these experiences and strive to create a more positive and inclusive work environment. By fostering a culture of respect, empathy, and teamwork, we can all contribute to a more harmonious and productive society.

 Breaking Free from Gender Stereotypes: The Evolving Roles of Women in Families

The statement "A woman can be a man in the family" is a powerful reflection of the changing dynamics of modern families. While traditional gender roles have historically defined family structures, the increasing fluidity of these roles is challenging outdated stereotypes and paving the way for a more equitable and diverse family landscape.

Beyond Traditional Gender Roles

Historically, women were often confined to domestic roles, while men were expected to be the primary breadwinners and decision-makers. However, in recent decades, we have witnessed a significant shift in these traditional gender roles. Women are increasingly entering the workforce, pursuing careers, and taking on leadership positions that were once predominantly held by men.

Moreover, men are also embracing traditionally feminine roles, such as being primary caregivers and taking on household responsibilities. This blurring of gender lines has led to a more balanced and equitable distribution of labor within families, challenging the notion that certain roles are exclusive to one gender.

Individuality and Diversity

The roles and responsibilities within a family are not solely determined by gender. Individual personalities, preferences, and circumstances play a crucial role in shaping family dynamics. In some families, the woman may be the primary decision-maker, while in others, the man may be the primary caregiver. These variations highlight the importance of recognizing and embracing the unique contributions of each individual within a family, regardless of their gender.

Challenging Gender Stereotypes

The statement "A woman can be a man in the family" is a powerful challenge to traditional gender stereotypes. By suggesting that women can take on roles typically associated with men, it helps to break down the notion that certain roles are inherently masculine or feminine. This shift in perspective is essential for promoting gender equality and creating a more inclusive and accepting society.

The evolving roles of women within families are a testament to the progress made in challenging gender stereotypes and promoting equality. As we continue to break free from traditional gender roles, we are creating a more diverse and inclusive family landscape. By recognizing the unique contributions of individuals, regardless of their gender, we can foster stronger, more harmonious families and build a more equitable society.

Jack of All Trades, Master of Curiosity

 

Jack of All Trades, Master of Curiosity

I’ve heard it countless times. The familiar refrain of “You’re all over the place! Can’t you just focus on one thing?” It’s a question that has echoed in my mind for years, a challenge to my ever-wandering curiosity.

I’ve always been drawn to the unknown. A new book, a different perspective, an unexplored corner of the world - it all ignites a spark within me. I find myself constantly questioning, analyzing, and seeking answers. It’s a habit, a compulsion, a way of life.

People often label this as a negative trait, a sign of a scattered mind. They say I’m a “Jack of all trades, master of none”. But is that truly a bad thing?

I believe that my thirst for knowledge is a strength, not a weakness. It allows me to connect different dots, to see the world from multiple angles. While I may not be an expert in any one field, I possess a breadth of understanding that many lack.

Of course, there are drawbacks. It can be challenging to focus on a single task, and I often find myself pulled in different directions. But I’ve learned to embrace this aspect of myself. It’s a part of who I am.

I’m aware that my time on this earth is limited. Every moment is precious. I want to spend it exploring, learning, and growing. And if that means being a “Jack of all trades”, so be it. After all, isn’t life about the journey, not just the destination?

What are your thoughts? Are you a specialist or a generalist? Do you think it's possible to be both? Let's start a conversation!

My Fortunes: Friends for Life

 

My Fortunes: Friends for Life

They say you choose your family, but I believe I was exceptionally fortunate to have found a family in my friends. They are the kind of people who have become an integral part of my life, a constant source of support, laughter, and love.

I've been blessed with friends who don't just tolerate my quirks but celebrate them. They've been my pillars of strength, my confidants, and my partners in crime. There have been times when life threw curveballs, and I felt lost, but their unwavering belief in me pulled me through. They searched for me when I was out of sight, missed my presence, and even found ways to keep my spirit alive in my absence.

I owe a special thanks to Geeta, whose memory lane is a bridge to countless cherished moments. Promila, your hiccups are a testament to the depth of your friendship. Ruchika, you're the epitome of a true friend. Poonam Saraswat, your understanding means the world to me. And to the RPVV gang Sneh, Ruby and Shweta. You've been my backbone.

To all my friends, both old and new, Happy Friendship Day! You're the pause button in my life, holding everything in place until I return. Your friendship is a priceless treasure, and I am eternally grateful for each one of you. 

And to all the lovely souls who consider me a friend, Happy Friendship Day! A special shoutout to all the unsung heroes in my life who haven’t been mentioned by name – your friendship means the world to me. Happy Friendship Day to you all!

I will surely make some new friends. Quantity might not be a priority, but quality definitely is. I'm excited to meet people who can match the amazing bond I share with my current girls. To those friendships still in the making, Happy Friendship Day!

Here's to many more years of laughter, adventures, and unbreakable bonds.

With love and gratitude.

BY GEETA BHANWALA 

The Divine Dance of the Hindu Trinity: Reflections on Reincarnation and Human Nature

 The Divine Dance of the Hindu Trinity: Reflections on Reincarnation and Human Nature

Yesterday, as I immersed myself in a book about Krishna and his extraordinary life, a profound realization struck me. Krishna, an avatar of Lord Vishnu, symbolizes the essence of continuity in the cosmos. According to Hindu mythology, the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva governs the universe's creation, preservation, and destruction, respectively. Brahma is the creator, Vishnu is the sustainer, and Shiva is the destroyer—ushering in new beginnings through the cycle of life and death.
The Trinity and Their Cosmic Roles
Each deity of the Hindu trinity has distinct responsibilities:
Brahma: The creator of the universe and all living beings.
Vishnu: The preserver and protector, maintaining balance and harmony.
Shiva: The destroyer, facilitating the end of one cycle to make way for renewal and regeneration.
The Avatars and Their Earthly Journeys
When these deities incarnate on Earth, their avatars reflect their cosmic duties. Lord Vishnu’s most renowned avatars are Rama and Krishna. These avatars lived among humans, experiencing the full spectrum of worldly pleasures and adversities. Through their lives, they demonstrated the principles of dharma (righteousness) and the path to moksha (liberation).
Rama is the epitome of virtue and the ideal king, demonstrating unwavering commitment to duty and righteousness. Krishna, with his multifaceted personality, exemplifies wisdom, joy, and divine love, guiding humanity through his teachings and actions.
In contrast, Lord Brahma’s avatars, such as the sages and seers who composed the Vedas and other sacred texts, embody the creative force of knowledge and wisdom. These rishis and munis (sages) provided the foundation for spiritual and moral guidance in Hindu culture.
Shiva’s avatars, often depicted as fierce protectors and destroyers of evil, support Vishnu’s avatars in their mission to restore balance. Whether it’s the ferocious Kalki who will appear at the end of the current age to annihilate the forces of adharma (unrighteousness), or Hanuman, the devoted servant of Rama, Shiva’s incarnations are integral to the cosmic order.
Reflections on Human Nature
The lives and actions of these divine incarnations illustrate a fundamental truth: the inherent nature of a being is immutable. Just as gods maintain their essential qualities through their avatars, humans, too, have intrinsic natures that define them. This concept aligns with the adage, "A leopard cannot change its spots." While humans can strive for self-improvement and growth, their core nature remains consistent.
This recognition calls for a balanced approach to relationships and trust. Trust is essential, but it should be coupled with discernment. Once trust is established, it is wise to remain cautious and protect oneself from negative influences that are incongruent with one’s own energy.
Embracing the Wisdom of the Ages
As we reflect on the lives of divine incarnations and their impact on the world, we gain insights into our own nature and the nature of those around us. Understanding that true change lies not in altering one’s essence but in refining and improving oneself can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling life.
By aligning ourselves with positive energies and staying true to our fundamental nature, we can navigate the complexities of life with wisdom and grace, just as the avatars of Vishnu, Brahma, and Shiva have shown us through their divine journeys.
BY GEETA BHANWALA

My Memoir -A Candlelit Memory

 

A Candlelit Memory

Growing up in our village, electricity was more of a luxury than a certainty. Power cuts were so common that we were practically on a first-name basis with darkness. On one particularly memorable night when I was around 14 or 15, my younger sister Kavita, who was five years my junior, and I were huddled together in our room, completely absorbed in a thrilling movie on television.

The suspense on the screen mirrored the tension in the room. We were both on the edge of our seats, hearts racing with every twist and turn. The shadows cast by the flickering TV light made everything seem even more eerie, but neither of us wanted to look away, despite being frightened. It was one of those rare moments of pure, shared excitement that only siblings can fully appreciate.

Suddenly, without warning, everything went pitch black. The power had gone out. We sat there in stunned silence for a moment, the abrupt darkness making the room feel even more claustrophobic. I told Kavita to stay put while I went to fetch a candle. The familiar path through the house felt strangely foreign in the dark, but eventually, I returned, holding a lit candle in both hands, its soft glow casting dancing shadows on the walls.

As I approached Kavita, an idea popped into my head. With my eyes wide open, trying to look as spooky as possible, I said in a low, dramatic voice, "What do you think? I am Geeta? I am not Geeta, I am Prakash," invoking the name of our deceased mother.

For a moment, Kavita's eyes widened in genuine terror. She started to cry and, in a mix of fear and desperation, she began to plead, "Geeta, say you are Geeta! You are not mommy!" Her small hands fumbled around, and she grabbed a slipper, swinging it at me in blind panic. Each time she hit me with it, she repeated, "Say you are Geeta! You are not mommy!"

After enduring a few more whacks with the slipper, I finally admitted defeat, laughing and rubbing the spots where she'd hit me. "Okay, okay, I'm Geeta! I was just making a joke."

Kavita's tears slowly turned into reluctant giggles, and soon we were both laughing, the tension of the night dissolving in our shared amusement. The candlelight continued to flicker, casting playful shadows around the room, but the fear was gone, replaced by the warmth of our sibling bond.

That night, despite the darkness, became one of the brightest memories of my childhood. It was a perfect blend of fear, fun, and family—elements that defined so many of our experiences growing up in that village. And every time I think back to it, I can't help but smile at the mischief and the love that made that moment so special.

BY GEETA BHANWALA 

A Morning Memoir: A Feathery Altercation

A Morning Memoir: A Feathery Altercation

Today, during the serene moments of prayer time, I found myself standing in the ground, enveloped in the usual morning tranquility. The calm was suddenly pierced by a loud chirping that drew my attention. I turned to see two birds locked in a fierce quarrel, clutching each other with their paws and beaks, their constant cries filling the air.

The scene quickly escalated as three or four more birds joined the fray, turning the squabble into what resembled a gang fight among street children. I felt like a curious woman enjoying a neighbourhood brawl, captivated by the unfolding drama. As I stood there, I began to imagine the reasons behind their clash—was it over food, a love triangle, unrequited affection, territorial disputes, or a struggle for supremacy within their group?

Soon, another teacher arrived, drawn by the commotion. We exchanged amused glances, united in our shared fascination with the birds altercation. The birds, undeterred by our presence, continued their battle, moving from place to place but never losing intensity.

Eventually, fatigue seemed to take its toll on the feathery combatants. They paused, standing still while chirping at each other in what appeared to be a final exchange of words. Slowly, the noise began to fade, and one by one, they dispersed, each going their separate way.

As the last bird flew off, the ground returned to its peaceful state, leaving behind the memory of an unexpectedly lively and refresh full morning.

BY GEETA BHANWALA 

A Memoir of Change: Understanding the Desire for New Beginnings

 

A Memoir of Change: Understanding the Desire for New Beginnings

In the ever-evolving landscape of the professional world, especially within the structure of the government sector, the reasons behind decisions such as workplace transfers can be both complex and deeply personal. As I reflect on the choices of my colleague, a woman seeking to explore new horizons despite the convenience of her current position, I find myself on a journey to understand the broader psychological and emotional factors that might influence such a decision.

Embracing Change

Change is an inherent part of life, and for many women, it represents growth, new opportunities, and a chance to redefine their professional and personal identities. My colleague's choice to transfer to a workplace 30 kilometers away from her home, despite no apparent issues with her current position, can be seen through the lens of a desire for change and exploration. This choice is a testament to her courage and willingness to step out of her comfort zone, embracing the unknown in pursuit of something more fulfilling.

The Desire for Exploration

For many women, the desire to explore new working environments stems from a need to challenge themselves and expand their skill sets. Working in the same place for an extended period can lead to a sense of stagnation, where daily routines become monotonous and the scope for professional growth feels limited. By seeking a transfer, my colleague is likely aiming to break free from this monotony, opening herself up to new challenges, experiences, and learning opportunities. This exploration is not just about the physical relocation but about personal and professional reinvention.

The Need for Autonomy

Another crucial aspect to consider is the sense of autonomy and control over one's career path. For women, particularly in the workplace, asserting control over career decisions is an empowering act. My colleague's decision to transfer could be a way for her to assert her independence, taking charge of her career trajectory rather than being confined by convenience or proximity to home. This decision underscores her agency and her right to choose what is best for her growth and satisfaction.

Balancing Personal and Professional Lives

The choice to work farther from home can also reflect a woman's desire to balance her personal and professional lives better. A change of environment might provide her with the space to separate her work life from her home life more distinctly. This separation can lead to a healthier work-life balance, offering her the opportunity to focus on her career during working hours and dedicate her time at home to personal pursuits and family without the physical closeness of work imposing on her personal space.

Challenging Societal Expectations

Society often imposes certain expectations on women regarding stability, especially in their professional lives. Women are frequently expected to prioritize convenience and proximity to home for the sake of family responsibilities. By choosing a transfer that adds a considerable commute, my colleague might be challenging these societal norms, demonstrating that her career aspirations and personal growth are equally important. This bold move can inspire other women to pursue their ambitions without being hindered by traditional expectations.

Personal Growth and Fulfillment

Ultimately, the pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment is a powerful motivator. For many women, professional development is intertwined with personal satisfaction. The new working environment might offer my colleague opportunities to engage with different teams, tackle new projects, and develop skills that were not accessible in her previous role. This personal and professional growth can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and achievement, enriching her overall life experience.

Conclusion

Reflecting on my colleague's decision to transfer, I recognize the profound and multifaceted nature of such a choice. It is a reminder that each person's journey is unique, shaped by their aspirations, values, and circumstances. As women in the workforce, our motivations for change are driven by a complex interplay of personal growth, professional development, autonomy, and the desire to challenge societal expectations. Understanding and respecting these diverse perspectives not only fosters empathy but also empowers us to support each other in our individual and collective quests for fulfillment and success.

BY GEETA BHANWALA